Twilight Books Summary

— Book 1. Twilight:
Edward: Hey.
Bella: OMG, I'm so silly. And horny.
Edward: Yes. I'm dangerous. I sparkle.
Bella: OMG you're a vampire!
Edward: Yes. Let's go play baseball.
James: I like your girl, Edward. Gotta eat her.
Edward: Roar.
James: Omnomnom Bella.
Bella: OMG I'm screaming in agony! Yes, I will be a vampire!
Edward: I'm gonna kill you, James! I'm gonna suck Bella as well. LOLJK you're not a vamp.
Jacob: Oh, hi there!
— Book 2. New Moon:
Edward: Oops, gotta go.
Bella: OMG don't leave me! OMG I'm so depressed and dying in agony again.
Jacob: Oh hi there! I'm a semi-naked shape-shifter! (I mean, a werewolf!)
Bella: OMG I don't miss Edward anymore, I love you Jake!
Alice: Edward is gonna kill himself!
Bella: OMG no! BRB Jake, you're not important anymore.
Edward: I'm going to do the worst ever. I will sparkle Italians to death.
Volturi: You suck.
Bella: OMG leave him alone!
Volturi: OK, leave now bitches.
Jacob: I love you, Bella.
Bella: OMG I love Edward more, bye!
— Book 3. Eclipse:
Victoria: I'm back, bitch! I'ma cut you!
Bella: OMG no!
Edward: I'ma protect you, dinner! (I mean, Bella)
Jacob: I want to kill her too!
Riley: I will kill you!
Bella: OMG I'm frozen!
Edward: Shit I'm so cold and can't get you hot.
Jacob: Move on bitch, I will warm this whore.
Victoria: You missed me bitches?
Edward: I killed James, you twat! Now you're dead!
Bella: OMG kiss me Jake! Kay, gotta go I'm marrying Edward.
— Book 4. Breaking Dawn:
Edward: I don't want to fuck you, Bella. Marry me first.
Bella: OMG shit, okay.
Jacob: My heart is broken!
Bella: OMG and so is my water! I've been prego for 3 days and now my baby is ready to go!
Edward: Oh no, a monster!
Renesmee: I'ma kill you, mom :3
Volturi: We're gonna kill that bitch, she's a monster.
Bella: OMG finally I'm a vampire! I'ma protect ma man and ma family and some other random bitches.
Volturi: Fine, you won.
Jacob: Bella I never loved you. I wanna fuck your daughter.
>>>THIS IS HILARIOUS! : )

Posted on November 20th at 11:22 PM
Reblogged from: dreamingofcookies
Originally posted by: fuckyeahteamjacob

1. mmaneater liked this
2. s0nostalgic liked this
3. teardropsoraindrops liked this
4. oso0wicked reblogged this from tra-lalalala
5. forgetshitandm0veon reblogged this from tra-lalalala
6. just-once-for-luck liked this
7. fashionvsbeauty liked this
8. lightsandgoulds reblogged this from tra-lalalala
9. coconutkiller liked this
10. tra-lalalala reblogged this from deansapaintedwhore
11. cassiesaidit reblogged this from smurfasaur
12. lie-tomyself reblogged this from littletasteofhypocrisy
13. littletasteofhypocrisy reblogged this from kissofadawn
14. darcmana reblogged this from mrcdnantoine
15. raddles liked this
16. black-and-white-in-colour liked this
17. podgyimbecil liked this
18. sorryforbeinme liked this
19. fatalrenditi liked this
20. crackhappens reblogged this from dxkiraxn
21. dxkiraxn reblogged this from toxinogenic-tetris
22. toxinogenic-tetris reblogged this from deadjellyfish
23. deadjellyfish liked this
24. deadjellyfish reblogged this from fadeintothedarkness
25. wendigoesrawr reblogged this from hibhibhoorayyy
26. hibhibhoorayyy reblogged this from forever-and-alwayss
27. everyfavourfanta liked this
28. hellenismwig liked this
29. raype-n-raybes reblogged this from fadeintothedarkness
30. iammobius1 liked this
31. iammobius1 reblogged this from fadeintothedarkness
32. orgasmrobot liked this
33. br0ken-wave liked this
34. stuck-in-the-labyrinth liked this
35. fadeintothedarkness reblogged this from memes
36. forever-is-a-scary-place reblogged this from gap-between-my-teeth
37. like-a-pervertida reblogged this from lmaogtfo
38. that-one-picture reblogged this from ninjas-do-it-better
39. quiescenttim liked this
40. douche-giggles reblogged this from fuckyeahlaughters
41. bandgeekspence reblogged this from echos-voice
42. antithesisse liked this
43. michellokittythere liked this
44. wildlifecare liked this
45. sparksofus liked this
46. thehypocriticalhipster liked this
47. leavemyprints reblogged this from leavemyprints
48. goldsworthy-49 reblogged this from fuckyeahteamjacob
49. sunfloweririses reblogged this from kingkarasu
50. Show more notesLoading...